My Parent! My Parent!! Bless My Parent…Oh Allaah! (3 of 4)

Kindness to Parents Continue after they have Died

As for after the parents have died, the child can do many things, such as the following:

  1. Paying off the debt for them. My Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The soul of the believer is suspended because of his debt until it is paid off.” al-Tirmidhi (1078). Al-Mubaarakfoori said in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi (4/164): The words “the soul of the believer is suspended” – al-Suyooti said: i.e., it is detained and kept from reaching its noble destination.
  2. Rich child whose parent had not performed Hajj may perform Hajj and Umrah in their behalf, or pay for someone else who has performed hajj before to perform Hajj on their behalf. Bukhaari, al-Fath, 7315, Muslim no. 1149
  3. Asking for forgiveness for them and pray for mercy for them. Q17:24. Shaykh Ibn Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: this means, pray for mercy for them, when they are alive and after they die. Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 524. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man may be raised in status in Paradise and will say, where did this come from? And it will be said: From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 3660; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 1617. Tirmidhi, no 1376
  4. Obligatory fasts missed by dead persons may be done on their behalf by their close relatives. The fasts may be from Ramadhan or from oaths (Nadhr). Muslim no. 1149
  5. Charity (not gift) may be given in their behalf. Bukhaari, Fath, 1388, Bukhaari, Fath, 2756. Please read more here:
  6. It is also Sunnah to honor them by maintaining ties with those whom our parent used to keep in touch with, such as relatives and friends.  Muslim, 2552

Dangers of Disobeying Parent

An-Nasaa’i (2562) narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three whom Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will not look at on the Day of Resurrection: the one who disobeys his parents, the woman who acts in a masculine manner, and the cuckold. And there are three who will not enter Paradise: the one who disobeys his parents, the one who is addicted to alcohol, and the one who reminds people of what he has given to them.”Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh an-Nasaa’i

At-Tirmidhi (1905) narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three supplications that will undoubtedly be answered: the supplication of one who is wronged, the supplication of the traveler and the supplication of a parent against his child.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi. Ahmad (24299) Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Targheeb, 2515

Oh Allaah! Bless our parents, forgive them, have mercy on them, unite us in Aljannah…

My Parent! My Parent!! Bless My Parent…Oh Allaah! (2 of 4)

Allaah created whatever He wish by saying Be and it will surely Be. In His power, the Almighty, He can send down human beings from heaven like rain instead of the living man to produce offspring and still command us to respect and be dutiful to one another. But Allaah in His faultlessness excellence created Prophet Adam (the first man), peace be upon him, from clay and Hawah (may Allaah be pleased with her), his wife, was created from him. Q4:1.

It is a process of creation by the Best of creators in which inorganic matter, clay, becomes living matter. The inorganic matter after becoming living matter, reproduces itself by means of sperm which is deposited in the uterus where it encounters its counterpart; the ovum and fertilizes it. The first change in the fertilized ovum (zygote) is the conversion to a blastocyst through repeated cell division (a sort of clot or thickly congealed blood); the Blastocyst cell grows further by segmentation; then the mass gradually assumes shape in its growth as an embryo. From the lump (embryo) develop bones, flesh, organs and a nervous system; then the breathing of Allah’s spirit into it; then it develops into another creature, all inside our mothers, hardships upon hardships coupled with poor condition of living for many. Q23:12-14, Q31:14, Q Q46:15 Muslim 2643.

Our mothers deserve more honor due to the great sacrifices and pain they endured during childbirth. For this reason, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) declared that our mother is the most deserving of our good company, even before our father. Sahih Bukhari 5626. The mother’s rights over us are so great that the Prophet once told a man not to join the military expedition so he could return to his parents and serve them, specifically his mother, for Paradise is under her feet. Al-Bukhaari, 2842; Muslim, 2549

The rights of parents over their children may be summed up as treating them well in all matters and behaving with them kindly as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” Q17:23-24. “give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination” Q31:14 “And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents” Q46:15 Q29:8, Q31:15.

Shaykh al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “be dutiful and kind to parents” means: treat them kindly in all ways, in word and in deed. Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 524. Ibn Jareer al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in respect of Prophet Yahya (Q19:12-15): Here Allaah says: “And dutiful towards his parents” meaning that he was quick to obey them, loving towards them, and not disobedient. Tafseer al-Tabari, 16/58, Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/121. Make du’aa’ for them and pray for forgiveness for them, especially when they grow old and weak and are in need of someone to treat them kindly and take care of their needs. In fact, spending on one’s parent and feeding them is more precious than feeding own children. al-Bukhaari, 2102; Muslim, 2743

It says in al-Fawaakih ad-Dawaani ‘ala Risaalat Ibn Abi Zayd al-Qayrawaani (2/290): One of the individual obligations upon every accountable individual is honoring his parents, i.e., treating them kindly, even if they are evildoers, with regard to anything that does not involve shirk (or sin), and even if they are mushrikeen, because of the verses which indicate that in general terms. Rights are not waived because of evildoing or being of different religions. It says in al-Adaab ash-Shar‘iyyah wa’l-Minah al-Mar‘iyyah (1/437): From the above it appears that obedience to one’s father is obligatory even if he is a disbeliever. This was stated definitively by the author of an-Nuzum. Liqaa’aat al-Baab al-Maftooh, no. 99, p. 9. Tafseer at-Tabari (17/413-414), Adwaa’ al-Bayaan (3/85), Sharh Muslim (16/102), Fataawa Islamiyyah (4/213), Fataawa Islamiyyah (4/196, 197), Tuhfat al-Mawdood bi Ahkaam al-Mawlood (p. 162), Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (25/285, 286), Majmoo’ah As’ilah Tuhimm al-Usrah al-Muslimah

Oh Allaah! Bless our parents, forgive them, have mercy on them, unite us in Aljannah…

My Parent! My Parent!! Bless My Parent…Oh Allaah! (1 of 4)

مَنْ أَدْرَكَ أَبَوَيْهِ عِنْدَ الْكِبَرِ أَحَدَهُمَا أَوْ كِلَيْهِمَا فَلَمْ يَدْخُلْ الْجَنَّةَ

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is doomed, he is doomed, he is doomed.” It was said, “Who, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “The person whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise.” Saheeh Muslim, 4627, 2551.

Parents and children in Islam are ordained together by reciprocated obligations and reciprocal arrangements. And Allaah says “ dutiful to your parents..” for many reasons. Before marriage; many ups and downs – acceptance and rejections, sleepless nights praying to Allaah to make the marriage successful and bless it. Allaah answered our parents’ payers, bless them with children (me and you) – do me and you care to pray for them?

During pregnant; our mothers can’t sleep, eat, drink…as desired caring for me and you, and our fathers are not at ease thinking and caring for their wives and the unborn babies (me and you). Do me and you care for them now? Unquestionably delivery is one of the more painful events in human experience, it ranges widely from woman to woman and even from pregnancy to pregnancy. The labor pain results from some physiological-psychological causes. Pain during labor is caused by contractions of the muscles of the uterus and by pressure on the cervix felt as strong cramping in the abdomen, groin, thighs and back, as well as an achy feeling. It’s often not the pain of each contraction on its own that women find the hardest, but the fact that the contractions keep coming. She still smiles and happy for giving birth to me and you, yet we appreciate not!

For me and you to be alive, our mothers nearly lost their lives, some actually did in the process of delivery. Many babies were born through caesarean section and many developed sicknesses from cradle that made our parents to become inhabitants of hospitals – hardships upon hardships; sickness of the baby coupled with unconducive and uncomfortable place of living (hospital). Can we remember this and show love to them?! Parents can’t buy what they want because of me and you. Now, we care not, we buy what we want and forget our parents!

Our parents couldn’t relax or concentrate because we cry day and night. Now, we care not about how they feel, it takes time before we remember them. Father developed sickness as a result of our cries in the night; he has worked vigorously in the afternoon and unable to sleep in the night because of me and you. Now, we care not about their income or daily upkeeps until they ask. Some have been told that their parent is behind their distresses and as a result disown their parents. Imagine! Parents refuse to abort pregnancy when me and you know nothing, they refuse to kill or sell us but care for me and you,…but some were brought up to disown them when they become weak at old age, subhaanallaah!

Our parents gave me and you daily upkeeps when we’re young but when me and you start earning income, we spend our salary or income with our wife and children and forget our parents. Parents don’t have rest of mind when we were young caring and praying for us but me and you only remember them when you see their missed call.

Oh Allaah! Bless our parents, forgive them, have mercy on them, unite us in Aljannah.