Child’s Rights in Islam (Concluding Part)

Child’s rights include some that come even before the child is born. Choosing religiously committed partner should not be forgotten, hence his/her distinguishing righteous may be passed to his/her children.

Recitation of basic dhikr before sexual intercourse after Islamic legal marriage (Nikkah) for protection against shayatin (Jins), and daily adhkar should not be forgotten during pregnant.

And after the child is born: tahneek, ‘aqeeqah, good name, etc. should be in accordance with sunnah. No child should be preferred over other; fair treatment in terms of religious and other education, spending etc. are strictly recommended as discussed.

All children are affected by those things around them, seen or unseen. Abu Hurayrah who said: The Messenger of Allah salallahu ‘alayhi wasalam said: “There is no child who is not born in a state of fitrah, then his parents make him a Jew or a Christian or a Magian.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1292 and Muslim, 2658. Just as the child submits to the physical laws which Allah has put in nature, his soul also submits naturally to the fact that Allah is Allah. But, his parents try to make him follow their own way and the child is not strong enough in the early stages of his life to resist or oppose the will of his parents.

Notably, choice of neighbours needs to precede the choice of house, location and its design. If one’s neighbor is morally corrupt then one’s family members are prone to risk. Allah said: “And incline not toward those who do wrong, lest the fire should touch you, and you have no protectors other than Allah, nor would you then be helped. (Q11:113)

You have option to live in a decent environment close to pious people but because of little different in the cost or worldly things, you prefer area close to beer parlor, casino, or area known for immoralities. If the child become nuisance, who is to be blamed?! Or you choose to be playing music or encourage it, then if the child’s role model is a Kaafir or a Musician, who is to be blamed?!

Oh my brethren! think and plan for your child, plan for your tomorrow.

May Allah grant us understanding of His religion, grant us pious partner, bless the union and our children.

Subhanakallahumma wabihamdik ashadu allaa ilaaha illa anta, astaghfiruk wa atuubuilaiik.

 

Child’s Rights in Islam (12)

Rulings on Miscarriage or Loss of an Infant

The rulings include:

* ‘Aqeeqah for the child. It was narrated from Salman ibn ‘Aamir (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Every child should have his ‘aqeeqah, so shed blood for him and wipe the dirt away from him.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1515; al-Nasaa’i, 4214; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) in al-Irwa’, 4/396. It was narrated that Samurah ibn Jundub (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Every child is in pledge for his ‘aqeeqah, so slaughter (the sheep) for him on the seventh day, and give him his name, and shave his head.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1522; al-Nasaa’i, 4220; Abu Dawood, 2838 classed as sahih by al-Albaani (may Allah have mercy on him) in al-Irwa’, 4/375.

Note: It is better to give some in charity, eat some and give some as gifts. Al-Mawsu’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (30/279).

* The foetus or miscarriage that happens after four months should be named, washed and shrouded, and the funeral prayer offered for him, and he should be buried with the Muslims. Narrated by Abu Dawood and al-Tirmidhi from al-Mughirah ibn Shu’bah (may Allaah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The funeral prayer should be offered for the miscarried foetus.” Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 8/406, Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 8/408, As’ilat al-Baab il-Maftooh, Q. 653. Ibn al-Mundhir, Ibn Qudaamah in al-Mughni (2/328) and al-Kaasaani in Bidaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’, 1/302. Al-Nawawi said in al-Majmoo’ (5/210), al-Mughni, 2/328; al-Insaaf, 2/504, Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 8/406.

* The blood which comes out when the foetus is miscarried at this stage is nifas, so the woman should not pray or fast, and it is haram for her husband to have intercourse with her. Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 1/304, 305.

My Brethren, it is good to remind the parent these hadiths:

  1. Abu Musa al-Ash’ari (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When the child of a person dies, Allah says to His angels: ‘You have taken the soul of the child of My slave?’ They say: ‘Yes.’ He says: ‘You have taken the apple of his eye?’ They say: ‘Yes.’ He says: ‘What did My slave say?’ They say: ‘He praised You and said innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon.’ And Allah says: ‘Build for My slave a house in Paradise, and call it the house of praise.’” al-Tirmidhi, 1021; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The death of one of one’s children is a screen against the Fire, and the same applies to miscarriage, and Allah knows best. Al-Majmu’, 5/287; see also Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen, 2/228.
  2. Mu’aadh ibn Jabal narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, the miscarried foetus will drag his mother by his umbilical cord to Paradise, if she (was patient and) sought reward (for her loss).” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1609; classed as da’if by al-Nawawi in al-Khulaasah (2/1066) and al-Busayri, but classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

May Allah grant us benefiting understanding, and grant all tested parents fortitude to bear the loss and bring to them what is better after.

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Who is more entitled to CUSTODY OF THE CHILD? Father or Mother?!

* Custody is aimed at looking after the child, so it should not be given in a way that will be harmful to his welfare and his religious commitment. Al-Mughni (8/190).

* In the happening of divorce, the mother maintains custody of the children until they are 7 years old, so long as she does not marry again. Ibn ‘Amr radiyallahu ‘anih reported that a woman said: O Messenger of Allah, my womb was a vessel for this son of mine, and my breasts gave him to drink, and my lap was a refuge for him, but his father has divorced me and he wants to take him away from me. The Messenger of Allah salallahu ‘alayhi wasalam said to her: “You have more right to him so long as you do not remarry.” Ahmad (6707) and Abu Dawood (2276); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, and classed As saheeh by Ibn Katheer in Irshaad Al-Faqeeh (2/250).

* Mother is more entitled to custody of the child so long as the child has not reached the age of discernment (7 years old), as the child at that stage needs the kind of compassion and care that only women can give. And this right is lost if the woman remarries, because she will be sidetracked by her new husband from taking care of her child due to seeming conflict of interest between the child and the new husband. Ibn al-Mundhir rahimahullahu reported that there was scholarly consensus that the mother’s right to custody is surrendered if she remarries. Al-Kaafi by Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (1/296); Al-Mughni (8/194).

* Upkeep of children is obligatory upon the father according to scholarly consensus, whether he keeps his wife or divorces her, and whether the wife is poor or rich. Upkeep of children includes accommodation, food, drink, clothing and education, and everything that the child needs, in fact, the mother who has custody of a child who is still breastfeeding has the right to ask for payment for nursing the child. al-Mughni (11/430) Fataawa al-Kubra (3/347) Rawdat al-Taalibeen (9/98), Al-Rawd al-Murbi’ (3/251). At-Talaaq (65: 6-7).

* If the husband is rich then he must spend according to his wealth, and if he is poor or of moderate means, then he must also spend according to his means. If the parents agree upon a specific amount on money, whether it is great or small, then that is up to them. But in the case of dispute, the one who should decide about that is the qaadi (judge) Talaaq (65: 6-7).

* Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di rahimahullahu said: But if one of them (mother or father) neglects their duties with regard to custody and care of the child, then he forfeits his guardianship and the other should be appointed instead. Al-Fataawa al-Sa’diyyah (p. 535).

* If she remarries, custody passes to the one who comes after her. There is a difference of opinion among the fuqaha’ concerning that. Some of them think that it passes to the maternal grandmother and this is the opinion of the majority of the four madhhabs. Some think that it passes to the father, and this is the view favored by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and Ibn al-Qayyim. See al-Masoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 17/303; ash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 13/535, Islam question and answer.

* If the mother has not remarried and the child has reached the age of seven years:
If the child is MALE, he should be given the choice between his father and mother and then live with the one he choose. A woman came to the Messenger of Allah salallahu ‘alayhi wasalam and said: May my father and mother be sacrificed for you. My husband wants to take my son away even though he benefits me and brings me water from the well of Abu ‘Anbah. Her husband came and said: Who is disputing with me concerning my son? The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wasalam said: “O boy, this is your father and this is your mother, take the hand of whichever of them you want.” And he took his mother’s hand and she went away with him. An-Nasaa’i (3496) and Abu Dawood (2277) this hadeeth was classed As saheeh by Al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

* If the child is FEMALE: According to Ash-Shaafa‘i she should be given the choice to choose between them; according to Haneefah the mother is more entitled to custody until the girl gets married or starts to menstruate; according to Maalik the mother is more entitled to custody until she gets married and the husband consummates the marriage with her; and according to Ahmad the father is more entitled to custody, because it is more appropriate for the father to take care of her. Al-Mawsoo‘ah Al-Fiqhiyyah, 17/314-317. So, this is subject to Qadi (Judge) decision in your community.

Islam is our religion, cultural practices are allowed whenever it does not contradict the Islamic rulings. These are Islamic rulings, who entitled to child guardianship may not be the aforementioned in your culture, your culture cannot supersede Islamic rulings if you’re a believer.

May Allah grant us benefiting understanding of His religion.